Mother's Eyes
by Sylvia Blackwood
Summary: Harry feels like Snape is only with him because he has his mother's eyes. What happens when he no longer does...? M/M Snarry Fluff.


**Author's Note:** This is just a small fic the Plot Bunny bit me with. Implies established Snarry relationship. M/M Rated T for sexual references Slight AU. Hurt/Comfort. Fluff.

* * *

Mother's Eyes

Harry looked at his face in the mirror. He barely recognized the person staring back at him. Not 2 hours ago, he was fighting for his life in the last leg of the battle with the Dark Lord. Now he was dead, his followers captured, and the wounded were getting help. Harry didn't feel the relief and joy that everyone else felt. He felt numb, lost, and confused. His battle left him with more scars… more marks. He now had a streak of white hair off the left side of his temple, and he had a jagged gash down his right cheek. But the change that confused him the most were that his eyes had turned red. As red as blood. The mediwitch, seeing him briefly, said that like the hair, a traumatic experience can cause a rare reaction to the exertion of magical strength. It's a harmless, but permanent side-effect.

To Harry, it was a fatal blow. He felt dead inside. As silent tears streamed down his face, he couldn't help but acknowledge the truth. He no longer had his mother's eyes.

* * *

Three months after the disappearance of one Harry Potter, life was as normal as could be expected. Those wounded in battle were slowly on the mend. Trials for all Death Eaters and followers were well underway. And the Ministry was holding celebration after celebration, patting themselves on the backs, and saying how good a job they did.

Severus Snape only attended these functions, because he hoped a certain Hero would show up. He had more than a few words to say to him. Finally, during one of these Ministry parties, Severus had had more than enough Scotches to drown an elephant. He didn't even have any idea who he was talking to. It wasn't until words just fell out of his mouth that he realized his mistake. "I knew he would leave you know. I always knew he would get out of here. *hic* Who could blame him? What has this world ever done for him? He asked me once. What had the world given him besides misery and heartache? You think these cretins did anything? They had plenty of times to snuff out the rat before things got bad, but nooooooo. They wait for a boy, hardly given a chance to be a man to clean up their mess." His voice was carrying farther across the hall as more people stopped talking to listen. "How brave the Ministry is to hide behind a child and take all the credit? You think, just because he's not present that it's ok to give yourselves the glory? Each and every one of you should stand down, for your incompetence. The students who fought in the war did more than you ever did for it. In my opinion, you're all a bunch of cowards!" With that, he passed out.

* * *

Harry read the front page of the Daily Prophet, reading the article about Severus Snape's rather public outcry against the ministry. His accusations earned him a cell in Azkaban, awaiting trial. From the look of things, the Ministry were going to judge him on being a Death Eater and completely disregard the fact that he'd been a spy for years. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't let Snape be treated like that. Not after all the times he's saved his life. And not after… He had to help him.

Severus took the stand, and waited for the end of this bull shitted trial. He knew where he was going, and he didn't care. His happiness had been sucked out long ago, so there would be none left for the Dementor's to feed on. He didn't even listen to the people around him. It wasn't until he saw someone vaguely familiar take the stand that he decided to pay attention.

The man spoke. "I wish to make a statement on behalf of one Harry Potter, giving testimony in the name of Severus Snape. This written report holds evidence and infallible information of the services Severus Snape has rendered. The magical signatures and pensieve memories involved with Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, and Minerva McGonagall are enough to acquit all charges put forth towards Severus Snape."

The Minister could not argue with the statement, and he didn't want to be on the bad side of one Harry Potter. Snape was set loose, and first thing he did when he was free was scope out the individual. As fate would have it, he caught the stranger just outside the building. "Wait you! Where is Harry Potter. Why did you testify in favor of me?"

The stranger turned but kept his eyes downcast. It was then that Snape could see the faint line of a familiar scar, faded with time, finally given a chance to heal.

"It's you… where have you been?" Snape could barely control his rage. "You couldn't be bothered to tell me you were disappearing. I knew you would. But you couldn't even look me in the eyes and tell me you were done?"

"Look you in the eyes…" The voice was strained. Still worn. "The eyes… are the windows to the soul. I've looked in your eyes before. All I saw was a veil. A blank cover that never let anything passed it. But you'd always stare at mine. My eyes were the only thing you would pay attention to. The only thing you would focus on. The only thing you would see. I finally understood why…" Harry lifted his head, and bore into Severus's shocked expression. "Do you get it now? The eyes are gone. There's no need to pretend anymore. Goodbye Severus." He turned to leave.

Severus's heart was in his throat. He rushed forward and grabbed Harry's wrist. "I thought you were dead. But then I heard you disappeared. Why?"

"I am not in a habit of repeating myself Severus."

"You haven't given me an answer I understand."

"My eyes! You were only with me in the first place because of my eyes!"

"What…" Severus was confused.

"My mother's eyes…"

Severus was silent. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He thought back to when they first started this impossible journey. During an Occlumency lesson. No words were spoken, ever. Just need. That's how it started, and that's how it continued. Until the final battle, and Harry left. Severus felt cold. "You thought… you were…" He couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"A replacement for my mother? What else would I be? I saw your love for her in your own memories, and sometimes during the night, you would whisper her name in your sleep." Harry turned back, and his eyes were sparkling with unshed tears.

'That's why he was pulling away…' Severus thought.

"And you never once said anything. Of how you were feeling, of what we were, of what you wanted… I didn't even think you would give me a second thought after I left."

There was still something that wasn't being said. That Severus expected to hear. "So… you didn't leave because you were sick of me?"

Harry looked confused. "Why would I be sick of you?"

"Because everyone is, Harry. I have no real friends. No family. No one who would miss me if I were gone. I was prepared to live the rest of my life in Azkaban because I don't know where to go from here. If you didn't leave because you were done with me, then why? Explain it."

Harry bit his lip, and seemed nervous. "You never touched me. I mean… of course you touched me, and you were gentle, but you never touched me in an intimate way. Not even in the throes of passion. It seemed like I was the only one providing the foreplay. Meaning that if I didn't go down on you once in a while, you'd just get the deed over and done with. You never held me. What am I supposed to conclude other than you were just using me for sex? I was alright with it… well, that's probably not the right term. I tolerated it, because I thought that's all I was to you. That, that was the only way I could be with you. But this… has given me the chance to realize that it's useless. I refuse to be a replacement to the one person I cannot have. Goodbye Severus Snape. I wish you well."

Harry turned to leave, but Severus was faster. He embraced Harry from behind and locked him in place. "Please don't go." He whispered. "Please allow me to explain. If you wish to leave, I will not stop you. But I cannot allow any misunderstanding to be between us. First of all Harry, while it was true I loved your mother, I was never in love with her. I have never once thought of you as being a replacement for her. I may feel ashamed for having relations with the son of my old schoolmate, but I was not going to let those nightmares spoil what we had. Those were probably the nights you heard me call her name in distress. I would dream of your mother pointing at me and shouting. She would blame me for being weak, and going after the last person on Earth I could ever deserve."

Harry started to relax his shoulders as he listened to Snape continue. "I was obsessed with your eyes, not because they were your mother's, but because there was such trust and true desire in them. I couldn't believe that you would actually be with me of your own free will if I didn't look into your eyes. As for the touching… well… every partner I've ever had before has complained about the state of my hands. How the calluses are too rough, and it becomes a turn off when they feel it on sensitive flesh. I didn't want you to say the same thing. I don't know how to do foreplay, because no one has ever wanted to engage in it with me. And that makes me even more pathetic, because I'm supposed to be the seasoned lover. I always knew you wouldn't stick around, because there is a million reasons why you shouldn't be with me. But for the love of Merlin… don't think it's because you're a replacement for anyone."

Harry was silent. He finally pulled away from the embrace, and kept his back turned. Severus felt cold and lost. This was the moment Harry rejected him once and for all. Finally, he spoke, "Is that also why you've never kissed me?"

"Because of my insecurities? Yes. For the same reason. Others found it dreadful to even think about it. They would say how horrid the idea was to my face when we…" Severus was cut off by a pair of remarkably soft lips. All thought left him as he sank into the feeling. If this was the one and only kiss he was going to receive from Harry, he was going to fully enjoy it. He wrapped his long arms around Harry's body, and held him close. He felt a gentle tongue touch his lips, and welcomed him in. The feeling was heaven, and he couldn't get enough. He was quickly becoming aroused, but he knew they still needed to clear the air, once and for all. He pulled back reluctantly, and looked into Harry's ruby eyes.

Harry looked nervous. But when he licked his lips, Severus felt a jolt shimmy down his spine. "So… what now?" Harry asked.

Severus kissed his forehead. "Anything you want."

"You really… don't mind that I'm… different?"

Severus knew Harry was talking about his new appearance. Finally taking a good look, Harry looked aged, scarred, but the light in his eyes was still there. "Harry. You're as beautiful now as you were before. I'm sorry I never said so. I promise I'll convey more in the future. So long as your eyes are directed at me, I'll do my best to be worthy of their attention."

Harry smiled, but then the nerves were back. "Would you… change your mind about me… if I were to confess… that I…" He swallowed his fear, "…love… you…?"

Severus felt like crying. He leaned in and kissed the scar on Harry's cheek. "I'm yours for however long you want me. You have my heart and my love Harry… always."


End file.
